How to stop measuring your self-worth with achievements and start building inner confidence.

You are enough - let me repeat that - You are enough.

One starting point in accessing your inner confidence is to realise your self-worth.  You are worthy of all of your dreams, your hopes and your desires.

There are many ways that people measure their success and self-worth and some of these ways can be potentially hazardous to our self-esteem. 

Many people measure their worth on possessing materialistic evidence such as owning the white picket fenced house, the brand new car on the driveway, the next best handbag or the high flying career.....  all of these things affirming how they measure and value themselves as a human being.

Don't get me wrong, you should have goals and be driven that’s great, you should work toward them, that’s also great, heck I'm driven, I have big dreams and goals, but to tie yourself up in a knot of stress and anxiety if you don't achieve these only ends in misery.

Possessions and things will only temporarily boost your self-esteem, you will find that once you have met those achievements, you'll chase the next desire and then the next desire, forever running after something to fill a missing void. 

While it’s normal for accomplishments to make us feel good, basing our entire self-worth on our achievements is like building our house on an unsteady foundation.

We should measure our self-worth by who we are at our core not by what we own or our external achievements.

When we begin to focus on inner worth, inner acceptance and self-love we begin to focus on behaving according to our personal values, instead of chasing things that will temporarily boost our self-esteem.

“The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off.” ~ Robert Hand

For a large part of my life I felt unworthy, unloveable, unseen... until I made the decision to let go of societies expectations of me. I made the decision to be happy again and accept all of my perfect imperfections.

I was forever trying to please people so that they would like me, or at least not bully me (thats a story for another day) I began to realise that friends came and went and the only person I could really rely on was myself.

I decided I needed to take responsibility for my own feelings and become aware of who I was as a person. I decided to work on my mind so I could change my inner world.

You see the perception we have of ourselves is key, it is what shapes our reality.  It's not what others think or how they see us because their perceptions will always be different and they will change.

We need to let go of all of the labels we have put on ourselves and strive to achieve our inner greatness.

Real freedom is when you have nothing left to lose - you believe in yourself and you go with your own heart.

Your power is in the now: 

Here are a couple of ways to overcome the need to base your self-worth on accomplishments:

  • Make a list of all the things you love about yourself that have nothing to do with achievement.

You may not find this task easy, when I first attempted this years ago my mind went blank because I would measure everything against my achievements.  

Slowly, I opened up to the fact that I love how gentle and good-hearted I am. I'm compassionate and sensitive to animals (serious animal lover) and people.  I love that I'm softly spoken and not confrontational, I am a good listener and a loyal friend.

After taking the time to work on myself I now know the benefits of having a strong inner confidence.

  • Practice unconditional self-love

Stop all self criticism - Refuse to criticize yourself, accept yourself exactly as you are.

Forgive Yourself - Let go of the past, embrace the fact that you did the best you could at the time, with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. 

Be Gentle, Kind And Patient - Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself.

You deserve love no matter what you achieve or how you've been treated.  Letting go of the need to base our worth on external validation is a continual process, it requires practice and action.

Confident people have a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness; they don’t need the approval of others.

Begin your journey to inner confidence today..........take a look at my free resource library.

I have a FREE resource library - check out the details in the sidebar, you will find useful information and workbooks helping you on your way.