Many of us hold on to what we feel we can control as we believe that it helps us to have more security in ourselves and with the actions we choose to take, especially when we're experiencing struggle in our lives.
The feeling is, the more control we have, the calmer we will feel.
However the more tightly we cling onto control, the more we invite disappointment and we can risk damaging our resourceful mindset which may result in a downward spiral of negative thinking.
Our struggles can be blown all out of proportion, suffering occurs when we expect life to run congruently with our thoughts and when it doesn't, sorrow and negativity can take hold.
Do you feel that everything is against you at the moment and unless you take back control you will be powerless against the forces of life?
The need to control comes from a place of fear or a lack of trust, when you really ask yourself that, you will either admit to it or you won't.
People who over-control will find it challenging to let go, but a way to start letting go, is to develop an awareness of when your actions are helpful to your situation or when they are working against you.
If our controlling actions come from a place rooted in lack of trust in ourselves they may result in being counterproductive.
An alternative perspective in viewing our trying circumstances is to think of this metaphor - 'Be flexible like a Palm Tree, bend don't break'.
Palm Trees are able to withstand the storms that nature regularly throws at them, they manage to stay in one piece because they are able to bend almost down to the ground at times. They are not rigid and resistant they are flexible and will bend with the strong winds.
Develop resilience, elasticity, and flexibility when faced with the powerful winds that are part of life. Flexibility in thinking and action is what brings resolutions, after all, the only constant in life is change.
Think about how you can become more flexible in your approach to life.
It may help to be willing to adapt to whatever may come your way. Initially allow yourself to experience the issue, feel it and lean into it, much like the bending tree in the hurricane.
Flexible thinking allows you to shift perspectives and to tackle situations in different ways. It helps to let go of our fixed ideas of how life unfolds.
Notice how you feel when moments seem impossible, it is natural to feel defeated this can be an automatic negative response, however this can be flipped around to look for the opportunities for growth.
Lean Into the flow of life, begin to trust in yourself, believe that things will work out....fear and mistrust can only lead to worry and stress.
Remember: Everything in life is temporary
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”—Lao Tzu